If you clicked on this hoping I had cracked the code on how to make the holidays stress free…. I haven’t. I have, however, given you a few paragraphs below that might make you feel less horrible about your own holiday hussle.
My husband and I have been together since October 2016. The first year of our relationship we didn’t celebrate any holidays together which I think is fair.
2017 we tried going to some family parties together but went to most without each other because we didn’t think it was worth the hassle of figuring it all out. We were engaged this year and still living at home.
2018 was the first year we lived together and were forced into making decisions about family parties and how to work through who gets when and for how long.
Now let me explain some back story. My husband grew up at the top of Illinois and I grew up at the top of Indiana. Both of our families still live in our hometowns so from one home to another it’s around 1 hour and 45 minutes if traffic is easy that day. Since we drive through Chicago to get back and forth you could understand how the traffic any given day can be hit or miss.
It’s also worth noting we currently live 20 minutes from my husbands hometown and 1 hour and 30 minutes from my hometown. We see my husbands family quite often since we live near by and most of my family I only see once a year at our now combined Thanksgiving/Christmas.
Oh yea and before I get too much farther, I have to note as well… my parents are divorced and both remarried. My brother is married with a newborn (first holidays) and my sister has a boyfriend. So I have roughly just in my immediate family… 5 families to consider (my step dads, my step moms, my sisters boyfriends, my brothers wife, my husband). Yup 5 other families to work around just to see my mom or dad. That doesn’t include one of my grandmas and aunt and uncle who live in my hometown either. So let’s count…. that makes 7 families total that my brain has to somehow figure out exactly how long to see everyone and when without hurting feelings or missing an event all together.
I’m exhausted just writing this y’all.
So you may be thinking “well you’ll get it right one of these years, why complain?” Because I’m 25… in my first year of marriage… and I have nothing better to do then hope and pray someone shows up in my comments section to bring me the magic code!!! Oh yea!!! Did I mention that on December 31st my husband and I are moving?
Yes — moving, moving. Like away from both families. Away to the point we won’t see our families unless we come to town.
So needless to say this year it seems important to see everyone and to be there for all the events.
Exciting news came in last night. Justin’s brother is graduating college the same Sunday my grandma planned our combined Thanksgiving/Christmas. What college holds graduation on a Sunday? I mean I wouldn’t know I didn’t finish college but a Sunday? Weird.
I realize writing this at 3:43 am because I woke up from my Aunt Flo coming to town at 2:30 am probably means I’ve gone crazy. But here I am writing the worlds longest complaint column you’ve ever seen!!
This is what my brain literally thinks at 3:00am — Hazaahhh!!!! I have all the powers and can say anything with noooo regret.
So to come full circle before I completely lose my sense of reality to the wee morning hours… I have an action packed day tomorrow of figuring out family parties and who I’m going to see Christmas morning.
If you have years of experience in marriage please help!! My husband and I used to fight about this time of year but now we just sigh and wish the holidays were filled with magic again. Getting older is hard.
For those who are newlyweds this season, may God give you the courage to take time for your spouse and yourself!!
For those of you single who can’t relate…. don’t judge me. Your day will come where you have to make these decisions.
For those of you with kids getting married who now have to navigate this new world, please be kind and patient. We mean well and just want some empathy.
For those of you who have it down and you find magic in your holidays…. bravo!!! I hope to one day hold this high honor myself.
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Remember always, “Your struggle is your strength”
– Kaitlyn Ariel Corsiglia –